This is Eli

A blog about Eli. A blog about survival – and by that, I mean life!

Hello again!

I’m talking about my mother, Gayle, who died in 2010.

My goal is to get through the sad stuff and get to the happier parts by Mother’s Day! I don’t want to depress anyone – but the fact is, these holidays are bittersweet for a lot of people.

I’m a mom and get to be with my family, at the same time, I do miss my own mother. Perhaps that’s where the below creative energy has come from. Grief. It’s a particularly motivating emotion. It’s a byproduct of love, the stronger of the pair, if you ask me.

Oprah told me to say that.

If you are just joining me, read The Facebook afterlife in parts. Here is Part 1. Here is Part 2.

I’m talking about my mom, her death and social media – Facebook. It’s almost Mother’s Day, so I’ve taken a diverting, open-ended mixed media journey from the day-to-day to talk about my mama.

Here is Part 3:

Short skirt, long hair in this Cher-era photograph. Her mom Audrey, Dad John and brother John.

Short skirt, long hair in this Cher-era photograph. Her mom Audrey, Dad John and brother John.

The Facebook afterlife, Part 3

My mom Gayle died in 2010 of cancer.

Before she died my two sisters and I got into a big fight.

I’d gotten her Facebook profile password.

My mom was really sick.

She was somewhere in between life and death.

It’s hard to describe, and a little depressing, so, I’m just not going to go there.

I was just horrified they’d taken down her profile. She was still alive.

I think I yelled about it. I don’t remember exactly what the discussion entailed.

I was really upset. I kind of flew into a rage.

It was pretty much a one-side argument. I had strong feelings.

They were like, “We just didn’t know what to do. It just seems awkward. We don’t want it to be weird for people.”

I was like — “What are you talking about?”

I thought her page might provide comfort to her friends. They couldn’t be with her. It was just family surrounding her at that point

I think I just yelled.

They gave me what I wanted.

We had so much going on.

I don’t want to make it out to be a big drama, something it wasn’t.

The drama was – my mom was so sick. We needed to take care of her. Make sure she was comfortable and surrounded by family and love.

That was the main thing.

Not her Facebook profile.

I just happen to be talking about her death in regards to social media.

I reinstated her Facebook profile because of my strong feelings.

No one opposed me on this.

Like I said, we had a lot going on.

On Oct. 3, 2010, my mom passed away. We buried her.

I won’t go into those details. It’s really quite sad – it’s almost Mother’s Day, and I have a lot of happy memories of my mom. I’d rather be thinking about that right now.

After the funeral, her Facebook profile page remained. Now, she has died, but she maintained a presence on social media, along with thousands and thousands, an untold number of people. They’ve died, yet, they live on in social media.

There she was, online, even though she was no longer with us.

Again, we were faced with a decision, which was: What do we do with her Facebook profile now that she had died?

I’ll talk about that more in the next post.

***

While I have your attention, I wanted to spread this message from the Esophageal Cancer Action Network (ECAN), an organization started by a friend of mine, Mindy Mordecai. Her husband died of esophageal cancer and she started a nonprofit to help others.

The organization’s goal is to spread awareness about this fast-growing cancer – and it’s link to heartburn, something that is not well known. My mother died of esophageal cancer and we believe it could have been related to chronic indigestion or a condition called Barrett’s esophagus. It was incurable by the time it was detected.

Check them out on Facebook and give them a “Like.”

This is her organization’s message:

The most important action you can take to help ECAN reach its goals is to pass along our message to those you know.

Tell them that persistent heartburn, or a cough or hoarseness you cannot explain is reason enough to ask your doctor if you need an upper endoscopy or one of the newer technologies to determine if you have Esophageal Cancer or its precursor, Barrett’s Esophagus.

If you liked this post or feel motivated to spread the message about esophageal cancer, please consider sharing it on your social media channels! xoxo’s, j

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