This is Eli

A blog about Eli. A blog about survival – and by that, I mean life!

This morning Laila informed me she was “the boss.”

“I’m in chawge.”

Then she pointed at me and told me my name was Janet.

You. Are. Janet.

You. Are. Janet.

She looked like a teensy weensy dictator. Impressive.

“Yeah, OK baby, sounds good. Janet, All right.”


Thinking back, that was a little rude. I kinda like my name. Juliana…it’s just got that ring.

And if I recall correctly, she kept calling me Janet, and it’s extra rude to call your mother by a first name, unless your family is just kind of modern or casual or something, but this name wasn’t even mine…

It’s “Mommy” to you, kid.

I didn’t correct her. Too tired to care.

So call me Janet. It’s retro.

I’m just curious, other parents and especially parents who have popped out two babies within not a lot of time: when does this whole tired thing end?

For the love of God, tell me it doesn’t last 18 years. Or, at least, that there is a break somewhere that includes a grown-up nap time schedule.Don’t laugh at me for saying that. Just put Janet on a large cot, put a blankie on Janet, read her Good Night Moon and let Janet sleep. Be a sport and indulge crazy Janet’s fantasy that daily nap time for parents is a real thing that exists somewhere….somewhere….

I work a wonk-a-doodle schedule. It works, and I am grateful for that, because we are able to have a 20-hour-a-week nanny for Eli and Laila, instead of a full-timer, which would cost, ya know, twice as much, and by that I mean, a staggering amount of money. It means a few late nights a week. It was fine during the summer, because Mark was always there to lend a hand, and he let me sleep in all the time.

My issue as of late is his return to school. It’s been a slap in the face to sleep.

Mark and I have an agreement during the school year: I get to sleep in Saturdays. He sleeps in Sundays. I usually take a nap during the day on Sunday if we can swing it.

I didn’t get my sleep-in day this week.

He had the nerve to rekindle an old back injury while giving the kids a bath at night.

I took pity on him and let him lay around in the morning to see if the pain would stop.

It didn’t. We panicked. He has in the past experienced years of intense shooting nerve pain, which was great! (said no one ever)Not. Again.

The pain just appeared again out of nowhere. It’s been gone for five years. Why did it come back? Seriously, we can’t deal with this now.

Then, just as mysteriously as it appeared, it left. Less than 48 hours of back pain…

I hope it stays away.

So I didn’t get to sleep in, and Mark got to experience shooting pain (please stay away), and I made coffee, and listened to his back pain groans, and I tried to suppress the urge to make fun of his old-timer noises, and then my daughter re-named me Janet.


Yeah. OK. Whatever…


back pain...schmack pain...please stay away...

back pain…schmack pain…please stay away…


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