This is Eli

A blog about Eli. A blog about survival – and by that, I mean life!

In the spirit of Christmas, I give you the following form letter for parents whose children want an LOL Surpise! Big Surprise, like my daughter, Laila. As far as I can tell, this toy is sold out everywhere.


But will she be glum come Christmas morning? Of course not. She’s about to receive a note from the North.

Santa’s helpers: No, don’t go on Amazon and pay double from the profiteering a-holes. Don’t stake out Toys R Us. Just move on, with the help of this handy, dandy letter from Santa Claus! Helpers need only write in the name of the recipient.

I investigated, and, as it turns out, there’s been a supply chain issue. The glittering golden globes triggered an avalanche before tumbling into the Arctic Ocean.

Love, me.

P.S. The YouTube video is below. It is excrutiatingly long. It makes me want a large margarita. The end.

Download a letter here:
Here’s what it says:


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